Don't Let Gamechanger Change the Game

I grew up playing baseball. Yep, Little League with the boys. That right there is me pitching on Loudoun South's Lion's Field. And that team photo has three girls in it because in our little town of Arcola there was no softball. Although you may not even be able to find me because I was such a tomboy.  And don't hate on our jeans. They made great baseball pants and if we had an awesome slide that tore our knees, our Mamas would slap a patch on those bad boys. I mean look at my pitching form. Impeccable- Or maybe I should just say my Daddy was so happy there was a five run limit or I never would have gotten us out of an inning.  I only pitched when desperate times called for desperate measures. And let's just say I never had thousands spent on lessons- If I wanted to learn, I learned from my Daddy out in our field.

Back in the day, baseball brought a town together. Kids pitched a million pitches in games because they weren't being shuttled off to a showcase or a weekend travel tournament. We had team gear. A bat was a bat and ya didn't get pissed off if a kid borrowed or dented your new $300 composite bat. Hell, in Arcola I remember we even had a team cup- and if you played catcher you'd shove that bad boy down your pants and then knock on it to show the coaches you were ready to go. For fundraising it wasn't up to your parents to post on social media to buy your bracket pools, but you walked door to door talking to your neighbors and sold them a big 'ole candy bar for $2. That chocolate was a hot commodity. I would live for the weekend where we would play at Waxpool because Mr. Parcell had built those famous underground dugouts. Parents would yell, whoop and holler, and if they got on their kid they weren't accused of being a psycho parent scarring their kid for life.

I can still remember the sound of gravel under our tires pulling up to the field and boy do I miss those days. So bad. Don't get me wrong, I still love the game and my favorite place to be is on a field watching my kids play. But it annoys me when numbers and stats, the pressure, and lately the technology behind the game get in the way.  And when I write blogs, trust me I'm not a know it all parent with all the answers... It is more me writing to myself because I see me being guilty of these behaviors and I'm just trying to get in check. There are so many times I need to remember that this is just a game with a stick and a ball and it's for F-U-N.

Within the last few years, there has been an app that is my BFF. Gamechanger. It's amazing. It allows me to follow along to games when I'm with one kid and my hubby is with another. I don't miss out. My phone will ding with a text saying "Great hit"... or other times "He's gonna walk him. Ya need to pull him off the mound," and I smile because I know grandparents are following from afar. We've even set up my hubby's 90 year old GiGi with the app and she cheers on our kids. The app has made improvments and recently added a voice play by play and I can listen rather than almost kill my kids while driving glancing at a close game.

But let me tell ya. Just like most technology, this app comes with a downside... and if any of these apply to you consider checking yourself...

• GC gives you an out.   My friends will tell you I'm crazy. I hate missing my kids games. But since Gamechanger has been around, I'm so less likely to be right there. Sure, I may be in the car within view. But if it's raining or cold, it is so much comfier to be in my car nice and toasty watching and following along on my app. Or if it requires us taking two cars and a lot of work, I may choose to lay on the couch and catch the game listening to it.  Lately, I've been trying to remind myself that sure, there are times when I'm not able to be there. But if I am, I will pack a blanket, carry an umbrella and "be" there. I will be present. Saying you are watching doesn't compare to your kid looking up in the stands and witnessing it themselves.

•  GC is not the big picture. While GC gives the rundown of the game, it leaves sooooo much out. You don't know about the kid that made the crazy, unreal slide into home to tie up he game. You don't know how a kid's curveball was moving. You don't hear about how a kid was absolutely robbed of a hit and how the second basemen made a catch that belonged on ESPN. You don't hear how a kid got in a pickle and made it safe. It doesn't show how a kid missed a sign. It doesn't show a kid who was playing sick or a kid that was toughing it out after being beamed by a pitch. And sometimes things are just entered wrong. My hubby jokes to look up defensive indifference and it's never used right. And though I've seen that scored a hundred times, I have no clue what that is but I just go with it.

• GC doesn't show Hustle and Heart.  GC leaves out a whole bunch. It doesn't show the kid that pops up off the bench to warm up left field without being asked. It doesn't show the kid picking up his team in the dugout and getting everyone fired up- and sometimes that kid is even more important than the kids making all-star plays on the field. It doesn't show the kid that gets to the game early and stays late. It doesn't show which kid stayed to put away the bases after the game or grabbed a mask and voluntarily warmed up  pitcher. Baseball is so much more than hitting, throwing, and catching... and sometimes it's those players that work hard and have the will that surpass those natural talents.

• GC doesn't show attitude. GC doesn't show a huge part of the game. It doesn't show a kid eye rolling at the umpire's call. It doesn't show a kid talking back to a coach, yelling at his Dad or even worse his teammate. GC doesn't show how a kid didn't run out a hit and take off after a dropped third strike because they were pissed. Attitude is everything.

• GC allows you to stalk. I'm guilty and it's not a good thing and I've had to stop. GC allows you to type in any team and see how other teams and kids are doing. With as competitive as the sport has become this can eat away at you. Guess what?  If Johnny pitched 140 pitches this weekend and you have looked it up and are now saying how he may need Tommy John surgery in the future- It's none of your business. Nunya. If you are looking up another kid's outing and making conclusions- maybe you are over the top and need to stay in your lane. If you are checking stats and worrying about the "future" of your kid and if they are keeping up, guess what- YOU may be the problem. It's a game. The best thing to do is to quiet the noise and as we tell our own children- Don't worry about what everyone else is doing!

• GC is an amazing tool but don't forget the good stuff. Yes, if you've made it this far reading this blog, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you are a crazy baseball/softball fan just like I am. GC is a godsend to us when you use it in the right way. But at the end of the day let's remember why we all do this. GC doesn't tell us the important things. Like, "Remember, this field has that BBQ joint with the best food we've ever had." That field sells the funnel cake fries. Oh man, remember that tournament when we all stayed up until 3am and went to karaoke and were dragging the next day. Remember that game where the coach got ejected and the umpire went nuts?  Awwww, that was the field when all the little siblings got covered in mud and we lost them.  Not sure about you. But stuff like that is the meaning of life. I look at the picture of me on the mound up above and I can't tell you a single play I made in that game, but I sure can remember my parents being there cheering to high heavans no matter how I did- and those memories will forever be in my mind- not the numbers or stats. It's the good stuff and why I love this game so much.

Here’s to 2019!

This. This right here is what we want people to see. A happy, put together family ready to set sail on a fabulous vacation. And if you are anything like me at first you are happy for us and then you might yell to your hubby, “Did you see the so and so’s are off on a Disney cruise?” And he may reply, “Must be nice to be the so and so’s.” Or maybe that's just me every time I see people off on an adventure. I wonder what the hell we are doing wrong- living in Northern Virginia trying not to live above our means, making more money than we ever imagined and it still not being enough. LOL.

But let me tell you about reality. This is a family that loves and loves hard. This is a trip admittedly so our littlest gets to experience Disney like our older kids did five hundred times before her big brother starts high school next year and puts an end to our during the school year trips.

This is also a family who has had the hardest year of their lives. Well, maybe not the whole family, but the Mama Bear. A year where she watched her Dad wither away as he battled cancer and eventually lost the fight. A year that her husband was diagnosed with Graves Disease and made marriage trying to say the least putting that through sickness and health vow to the test. I mean when your hubby is a pilot and can’t fly for six months due to his health, things get a little stressful- especially when that’s what puts a roof over your heads. A year where she gained even more weight because queso momentarily solved her problems. A year where after being a stay at home mom for fourteen years and absolutely loving it-her youngest chick flew the coup and this left the mother questioning what her purpose in life was.

This is a Mom who finally had to ask for help and who is so thankful for friends and family that have supported her. Who have understood her moods, silences, flakiness, and battles and been nothing but encouraging and supportive.

This Mom is me. And before Christmas I walked into my primary care doctor and had a meltdown on the exam table. I cried and I said how I was dreading the holidays without my Dad. I cried I was upset with my weight and my health issues caused by it. And let me tell you how amazing my doctor was. He looked at me, offered me a box of tissues, and said, "Look, you are probably on social media and you see all these people saying how excited they are for the holidays and how perfect their lives are. I treat half the ladies around here. Lies. It's all lies. You don't know how many people are miserable." Ahhhhhhhhhh just the right words when I really, really needed them. He did then also look at me and say, "It looks like your get up and go has just gotten up and left," which was also true.

So why am I sharing?  Because I am the woman you see in this picture. I am happy. I love my life, I love my familiy with all of my heart and soul, and sometimes- believe it or not- I do have it all put together.  And this past year has made me realize that sometimes, it's just OK to not be OK.  It's simply OK.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to ask for help and to silence the noise. I logged off Facebook all through Christmas because I just didn't want to see a bunch of happiness. I know- crazy, but I'm back in a good place and am trusting that 2019 can't possibly be worse than 2018.

So if you took the time to read this, know that yes, we suck as we head off to warmth. The cruise is paid for because that stinkin' hubby has this whole excel budget thing that annoys the crap out of me  and yes, I might be headed back to work after fifteen years of staying at home to pay for some of the kid's crap. Man, I should have thrown that retirement party years ago. Also know that the rest of this cruise it will be a constant fight about dressing nice, having table manners, who gets the top bunk, and this list goes on and on.... because though I may post pictures of our perfect life, behind it all we are a hot mess and it doesn't have to be perfect to be perfect.

To those that are ok with being real- You are my people.

Bon Voyage!