Wednesday, April 6, 2016

It IS Time

Yesterday I was in a foul mood all afternoon... Can't Facebook do that to you sometimes?  I got an invite to an event... not just any event... my 20 year high school reunion. F me.

It was sent by one of my close friends, who on a whim decided to send out a date and venue and just an informal, "If ya show, ya show, if ya don't, ya don't kind of thing. And the date just happens to be six weeks away.  What the hell was she thinking?  I mean I could fast for the next six months and still wouldn't show my face.

Ten years ago, I helped plan our ten year reunion... Not that I wanted any part in that this go around...  It was big time fun and all but when the caterer ran out of alcohol because our class knows how to throw it down, I wanted to cry... and then my B-F-F and I were sent to our hotel rooms by our other Bestie and our hubby's and didn't even make the after party. Thank goodness for that because we would have been a hot mess at Bungalow's.  And let's just say we faced the worst walk of shame ever when we had to clean the fire department we had rented the next morning but were locked out because we had left it unlocked with the keys in it and the chocolate fountain still running... Not our finest moment... Luckily the Firemen had taken over after we left. But.... it was one hell of a time.:)

Anyhow... I shot of a message to my friend and said, "That high school reunion needs to be pushed back four months so I can lose weight."  I was pretty proud of myself... I didn't even request the eight months I really wanted to squeeze in a boob job. Sheesh!  She fired back, "There is never a "good time"! If we wait till summer, people have family vacations... Fall kids are in school. Ya can't win."

And that stung. 

There is never a "good time."

Say it again, There is never a "good time."

She's right.  There is never a good time.  That has been my excuse for years.  I mean, look at my week.  Saturday was a baseball tournament and I was on the road, running around, didn't prepare and that called for Chick-Fil-A.  Sunday was WrestleMania and by golly my family had the best Jalepeno Cheese Dip on the east of the Mississippi... not to mention pizza, wings, homemade lemon cake... I could go on and on but let's just leave it at this Mama didn't touch the fruit bowl. Monday was my daughter's birthday party and 21 day fix got pushed back because I just had to partake in the pizza and cupcakes. I mean I couldn't skip it like ten of the other Moms. Nope, not me. And last night, I got this reunion notification, the hubby was traveling, and that just gave me free range to eat my emotions.  And I'm sure today will be something else.  I mean I am visiting my Mama and Daddy's and I just know they'll whip me up something good...

There is never a "good time" to start my weight loss journey.

And then it hit me.  Like a pound of rocks.  Or a knuckle sandwich to the face.

There is never a "good time" to want to skip out on seeing people you love and care about. There is never a good time to want to dodge life events. There is never a good time to want to stop being full of life because of a number on a scale or a few rolls around your middle.  There is never a good time to let your actions and your choices that are holding you back to control your life. There is never a good time to not want to take photos with your family.  The list goes on.

I have to stop the excuses. I have to make better choices. And I have to go all in. 

The time is NOW.  Trainer at 9am.  Making a shake so I don't ask my Daddy to make me chipped beef in gravy.  The time is now because I am worth it.

Thursday, March 31, 2016

Hope for the Hopeless

I haven't always been overweight. In fact, if you had told me years ago that I would face a weight problem, I probably would have looked at ya and thought to myself, "You are out of your damn mind." But as they say, never say never.

I mean I was thin.  This was me after my first year of marriage when I thought I had really gained weight and packed on the pounds, cut my hair off, and totally let myself go. Yes, I know short hair is not a good look and I tried to remedy it with $1,000 hair extenstions from a lady named Janelle in Oklahoma and let's just say they lasted a week before I consulted a lawyer... that laughed at me. Poor Brendan. True story. 

Unfortunately, ever since having kids, I have struggled with the scale.  I guess I take that back- I gained the Freshman 15, but let's be real- that's lower than my goal weight now. :) I've had highs and lows... Gaining, losing, trying every program under the sun, taking 500 Before "Body for Life" photos, doing triathlons, running half marathons, and let's not forget my stint as "The Knockout Mama" for LA Boxing when I blogged professionally for them and even spoke at a fitness conference.  My slogan was money... "One mom's journey from knocked up to a knockout." I can't make this stuff up people.
Notice I said my weight issues have mainly been "since having kids."  Well, my youngest baby turns three this week so I pretty much can't say the weight I'm carrying around is baby weight.  I know what the problem is. I eat. I eat when I'm happy, when I'm sad, bored, tired, nervous, anxious, stressed- you name it, I eat. Over the past two years, somehow I let my weight get out of control. My BMI says I'm obese...and so does the mirror.
I have excuse after excuse as to why...  I'm busy. My husband travels and I'm flying solo all the time. And let's not forget the year we lived in an apartment while our house was being built- where I visited the McDonald's drive thru for an extra value meal, large Diet Coke, and three sugar cookies because that was the only time my daughter would nap was on my second hour car ride picking the kids up from school. I mean, that was totally justified. Totally- and where twenty of my 45 pounds came from. Excuses.  All of them. I get it.
 I'm tired of being overweight. So tired.  I'm tired of avoiding people I haven't seen in forever. I'm tired of not wanting to be near a camera. I'm tired of resorting to the most unfashionable clothes ever just to hide my rolls. I'm tired of being tired of letting my weight dictate my self confidence and daily life. The struggle is real.
So just when I thought I was going to be heavy forever because I've failed at every gimmick in the world... And after visiting doctors and being told I DO NOT have a thyroid problem (I was convinced it was that and not the crap I've been putting in my mouth), I decided to give Beachbody one more try.
Shut it. Before I go on, I know that some of these people annoy you in your Facebook feeds, and a cleanse is not a solution for 45 pounds. I know this people. But ya know what- these "Beachbody" people- even ones I've never met- inspire me. They give me at least a glimmer of hope and inspiration that people can make changes and transform. And while you may hate their million selfies and pep talks... at times they are my light.
So after promising blow jobs for money for the 3 day refresh (I kid, I kid people), my hubby reluctantly handed over the Benjamins for yet another one of my infamous attempts to lose weight. And ya know what? I did it!  I freakin' did it. I followed something for three whole days. For those of you that don't get why this is such a huge deal, well, you just won't get it. But I'm sure there are some of you that feel me- and ya know what, I'm tootin' my own horn because this girl is proud of herself!
I mean you guys don't understand. I conquered.  I even went to Costco and didn't binge on samples, get a slice of cheese pizza, and chase it with a churro!  Miracles do happen.  And my mindset is changing.  Not gonna lie- I started this cleanse thinking if I can just get through three days I can go get a Gordita the minute I get up on the 4th day.  Damn you, Nery's Pupuseria- you are the bomb. But I'm ready to continue the battle against the big 'old stinkin' bulge and for once, I have hope.
Final Results-  Down 6.2 pounds!
But what is priceless is just knowing if I do change my eating habits, the scale WILL go down. It's possible. Now feel free to hold me accountable for the next year. And if you want to join me on the 3 Day Refresh next month, Let's do it! xoxo