Thursday, March 31, 2016

Hope for the Hopeless

I haven't always been overweight. In fact, if you had told me years ago that I would face a weight problem, I probably would have looked at ya and thought to myself, "You are out of your damn mind." But as they say, never say never.

I mean I was thin.  This was me after my first year of marriage when I thought I had really gained weight and packed on the pounds, cut my hair off, and totally let myself go. Yes, I know short hair is not a good look and I tried to remedy it with $1,000 hair extenstions from a lady named Janelle in Oklahoma and let's just say they lasted a week before I consulted a lawyer... that laughed at me. Poor Brendan. True story. 

Unfortunately, ever since having kids, I have struggled with the scale.  I guess I take that back- I gained the Freshman 15, but let's be real- that's lower than my goal weight now. :) I've had highs and lows... Gaining, losing, trying every program under the sun, taking 500 Before "Body for Life" photos, doing triathlons, running half marathons, and let's not forget my stint as "The Knockout Mama" for LA Boxing when I blogged professionally for them and even spoke at a fitness conference.  My slogan was money... "One mom's journey from knocked up to a knockout." I can't make this stuff up people.
Notice I said my weight issues have mainly been "since having kids."  Well, my youngest baby turns three this week so I pretty much can't say the weight I'm carrying around is baby weight.  I know what the problem is. I eat. I eat when I'm happy, when I'm sad, bored, tired, nervous, anxious, stressed- you name it, I eat. Over the past two years, somehow I let my weight get out of control. My BMI says I'm obese...and so does the mirror.
I have excuse after excuse as to why...  I'm busy. My husband travels and I'm flying solo all the time. And let's not forget the year we lived in an apartment while our house was being built- where I visited the McDonald's drive thru for an extra value meal, large Diet Coke, and three sugar cookies because that was the only time my daughter would nap was on my second hour car ride picking the kids up from school. I mean, that was totally justified. Totally- and where twenty of my 45 pounds came from. Excuses.  All of them. I get it.
 I'm tired of being overweight. So tired.  I'm tired of avoiding people I haven't seen in forever. I'm tired of not wanting to be near a camera. I'm tired of resorting to the most unfashionable clothes ever just to hide my rolls. I'm tired of being tired of letting my weight dictate my self confidence and daily life. The struggle is real.
So just when I thought I was going to be heavy forever because I've failed at every gimmick in the world... And after visiting doctors and being told I DO NOT have a thyroid problem (I was convinced it was that and not the crap I've been putting in my mouth), I decided to give Beachbody one more try.
Shut it. Before I go on, I know that some of these people annoy you in your Facebook feeds, and a cleanse is not a solution for 45 pounds. I know this people. But ya know what- these "Beachbody" people- even ones I've never met- inspire me. They give me at least a glimmer of hope and inspiration that people can make changes and transform. And while you may hate their million selfies and pep talks... at times they are my light.
So after promising blow jobs for money for the 3 day refresh (I kid, I kid people), my hubby reluctantly handed over the Benjamins for yet another one of my infamous attempts to lose weight. And ya know what? I did it!  I freakin' did it. I followed something for three whole days. For those of you that don't get why this is such a huge deal, well, you just won't get it. But I'm sure there are some of you that feel me- and ya know what, I'm tootin' my own horn because this girl is proud of herself!
I mean you guys don't understand. I conquered.  I even went to Costco and didn't binge on samples, get a slice of cheese pizza, and chase it with a churro!  Miracles do happen.  And my mindset is changing.  Not gonna lie- I started this cleanse thinking if I can just get through three days I can go get a Gordita the minute I get up on the 4th day.  Damn you, Nery's Pupuseria- you are the bomb. But I'm ready to continue the battle against the big 'old stinkin' bulge and for once, I have hope.
Final Results-  Down 6.2 pounds!
But what is priceless is just knowing if I do change my eating habits, the scale WILL go down. It's possible. Now feel free to hold me accountable for the next year. And if you want to join me on the 3 Day Refresh next month, Let's do it! xoxo

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